Pick at my brain a little, would ya?

If anyone knows me well enough, they would know that my brain is constantly on overdrive.  From thoughts on various tasks I have to accomplish during the day to pondering the hypothetical existence of another universe, I’m constantly subjected to the series of cogs spinning around in my head.  What’s more, I’ve been learning much about how limited all my thoughts really are when trying to understand the Cross.

I’ve been reading through Mahaney’s book still, and in it, he said one of the best ways to battle pride is to look to the Cross.  He quoted Martin-Lloyd Jones, one of my friend Jessica’s crushes.

There is only one thing I know of that crushes me to the ground and humiliates me to the dust, and that is to look to the Son of God, and especially contemplate the cross.

To be completely honest, there are days when I think about the Cross, and I’m convinced that I don’t understand it at all.  It’s too much for my brain to wrap around.  I think about Christ’s suffering a lot, since I know that His death should be mine.  But, I can’t really comprehend what that suffering must have felt like.  What was it like to bear the sin of the world?  How did it feel to have God, whom Christ was in the most intimate union with, turn His face from Him?  (Those words are confusing me, too.  His face from Him?  God turned His face from Himself.  How does that work?!)  What was it like to be beaten and scourged and mocked?  How misunderstood by his friends and family did He feel?  What was it like looking at His mother as he was dying?

All of these questions make it difficult for me to know how exactly to view the Cross.  But one thing I do know is that if the magnitude of it causes me to think so much, and understand so little, there is every reason in the world for it to humble me, especially since it is ONLY because of the Cross that I have the ability to know the God of the universe.

So, if anyone knows of any good books or has any words of wisdom to offer about all of this, please feel free to add your input.  It would be much appreciated.